Chapter 122: Pushing Everything Back to the Very Beginning

A light breeze swept across the cemetery.

Shen Jixing carried an apple pie to the gravestone, knelt down, and lit a candle.

"Happy birthday, old man."

The candlelight reflected the old man’s benevolent smile. Even though his image had blurred in the long river of time, Shen Jixing still remembered every detail clearly.

"I won't make a wish anymore. There is no such thing as Santa Claus in this world."

The finely carved, doll-like boy, wearing a simple white sweater and a small Santa hat folded from red paper, stared at the sweet apple pie before him with pure, bright, dark eyes. The orphanage couldn't afford a cake, nor did they prepare one for every child's birthday. So, his "cake" was a simple apple pie made by the director using apples, sugar, and bread.

"There is," the old man said, his aged hand gently stroking the boy’s soft black hair, smiling warmly. "Little Star, you just need to make your wish."

There might not be a legendary Santa Claus in this world, but there was one who belonged to him.

The boy’s eyes, softened and dampened by the candlelight, smiled. "Don't spend the money, Grandpa."

The old man’s hand paused. At an age not yet old enough to be sensible, the boy was more sensible than anyone else. Yet, the next day, Shen Jixing still received a pair of warm, brand-new red socks.

"Was it worth it?" Shen Jixing looked at the old man on the headstone. "To give your whole life for those displaced children, was it worth it? No parents, no wife, no children—who else will remember you?"

A long breeze blew from afar, extinguishing the candle in front of him. The thin smoke seemed like his gentle response. Shen Jixing felt as if he could guess what he would say: *What is given is given; how tiring it is to fret over a return. Live your own lives; there is no need to remember a wretched old man like me.*

Shen Jixing closed his eyes slowly. "You're so stupid."

Because of those unrelated children, the old man hadn't even had money for medicine at the end of his life, yet he was still happily trying to give them a home. "You’re just as stupid as he is."

Before the breeze could inquire who he meant, Shen Jixing’s phone rang.

"Where did you fly off to, Shen Jixing!" Zhou Yili’s voice was breathless, enunciating each syllable with frustration; he had clearly run through the entire villa without finding him.

"Visiting an old friend."

Zhou Yili’s alarm bells rang immediately. "Who?"

Shen Jixing gazed at the aged, smiling face—the man who, only a moment ago, he thought had no one left to remember him—and softly uttered two words: "Grandpa."

Zhou Yili’s tone shifted instantly. "Oh, why didn't you call me to visit Grandpa together? Are we becoming estranged? Especially after you were sitting on me calling me 'husband' just last night..."

"Zhou Yili!"

Shen Jixing’s ears turned beet-red as he cut him off. "Try saying one more word."

Why did he say it? It was only because this little lion had such a wicked nature; he had been forced into it...

On the other end, Zhou Yili let out a muffled laugh, sounding lazy and good-natured. Shen Jixing felt his heart flutter. "Get back to your work. I’m hanging up."

In truth, he had thought about bringing Zhou Yili, but this wasn't the right time. Zhou Yili was too busy with his new album release, and a cemetery wasn't exactly considered an auspicious place.

"Wait..." Zhou Yili deployed his clinging tactics again. "When will you be back?"

Shen Jixing countered, "Aren't you going to the company?"

"I am." Zhou Yili couldn't stay in their cozy nest for three days straight, but Shen Jixing could definitely be a bit more clingy and come find him. "Do you want to come to the company to see me, and let the whole world know about your 'dazzling' ability?"

Shen Jixing parted his thin lips slightly. "...Get lost. Who would believe that?"

Zhou Yili didn't succeed in his lie, but he amused himself. "I believe it. Teacher Shen is very impressive."

Shen Jixing knew it was just flirtatious nonsense, but his earlobes still burned. "Stop with the glib talk. What time are you finished this afternoon?"

"...Seven." Zhou Yili’s tasks had piled up, and he couldn't properly enjoy their honeymoon; he was even feeling a bit irritable because of this damn concert...

"I’ll come pick you up after work."

Zhou Yili’s mind wavered, instantly soothed by a single sentence. He chuckled, "Alright, I’ll wait for you."

Shen Jixing felt he hadn't grown an inch in eight and a half years. Even though everything else about him had changed, that pure, fervent emotion hadn't diminished in the slightest.

Shen Jixing didn't hang up immediately this time. He asked calmly, "Anything else?"

Zhou Yili didn't really have anything else to say. Shen Jixing would be picking him up in the afternoon anyway, but he just wanted to keep talking to this person. It was like an addiction. Whether it was his voice or his face, everything about Shen Jixing made him addicted.

"My esteemed 2022 internal tour attendee, do you want to come see my 2024 world tour?"

Shen Jixing said, "Either way is fine."

Zhou Yili: "..." This person was definitely doing it on purpose.

Shen Jixing added with a hint of amusement, "You arrange the seats. If I have time, I'll go."

Zhou Yili idly toyed with the white piano keys. "How about sitting on my lap?"

"..."

"How about I sit on your head?"

As soon as Shen Jixing finished speaking, he moved to hang up. Zhou Yili seemed to anticipate his action. "Wait."

The phone call dragged on and on, and Shen Jixing found it somewhat amusing. "Zhou Yili, are you a clingy brat?"

"What nonsense are you talking about?" Zhou Yili retorted with a cold scoff. No matter how much he clung to someone, his mouth remained stubborn. It was a classic "I can't live without you, but I refuse to admit it, so that means you can't live without me."

"How did you get there? Alone? Can you even walk—"

"I ran a marathon to get here." Shen Jixing’s patience was limited. "Do you think you're very impressive? I stopped feeling anything a long time ago..."

Before the stunned Zhou Yili could reply, he hung up with a sharp click.

"..."

Zhou Yili stood by the piano in the high-altitude garden, watching the disconnected call, his eyelids fluttering.

"Fuck." He let out a low laugh. "This little white bird, he's going to be the death of me with his cuteness."

...

Shen Jixing stood silent for several seconds after hanging up. He looked at the bright smile on the tombstone. "You heard him, right? He’s incredibly noisy the moment he appears."

At least he and Shen Jixing were two extremes. He had always been a man of few words, disliking excessive expression, and he knew he wasn't good with sweet talk.

"But I quite like him."

Only when no one was around would Shen Jixing voice his inner thoughts to the world.

"The silly little lion still doesn't know that I’ve actually been secretly in love with him all along." Shen Jixing’s voice was peaceful and serene. "He is good, exceptionally good."

"He is the first person who made me feel the impulse to spend the rest of my life with him. I never thought that if this person were in my future, then all the wreckage of my life would suddenly have meaning."

Like a rose blooming in the snow of North Mountain, like a reindeer voluntarily stepping into a hunter's sights. Crossing ravines for one person, pouring out everything.

"I'll bring him to see you next time." Shen Jixing said to him, "You’ll like him, Director Grandpa."

The director’s smile remained brilliant, frozen in the dappled winter light.

Shen Jixing slowly stood up, ready to leave. Suddenly, his knees went weak, and he fell back before the tombstone. His expression turned grave. This sensation of losing strength was far too similar to an anesthetic. Even with his mind in chaos, Shen Jixing had the instinct to calculate rapidly. His gaze fixed on the partially burned candle. "Could it be..."

Just as he expected, the sound of wheels rolling over the ground came from behind him.

"The candle was lit only to be extinguished in an instant. Could it be that he wanted to protect you?"

Bo Yu had been waiting quietly right there. He had listened to Shen Jixing talking and laughing recklessly with that boy, heard him pour his heart out to the dead. The gloom in Bo Yu’s eyes spread, yet he maintained the posture of a savior. He reached out to the person who had collapsed in a loss of control, pushing everything back to its starting point.

"Will you come with me?"