Chapter 125: If Xuan Doesn’t Want You, You Still Have Me

"Don't speak, don't speak," Xuan whispered, soothing her. "It's alright. Don't move. The military physician will be here soon. You'll be fine."

Dayin let out a faint, hollow laugh. "I am happy. Truly. I am about to see Spoon's father..."

"Don't say such foolish things. That isn't happening. Be quiet, you'll recover soon." Tears spilled from Xuan's eyes, dripping onto her shoulder.

Dayin managed to lift her right hand, resting it lightly on his back. "That you were able to make it here... I am truly very happy."

Kaiming stood foolishly behind them, unable to break into their conversation.

Dayin opened her hazy eyes, seeing a blurred figure. "Is that... Kaiming?"

Kaiming stepped forward, kneeling on one leg before her, her voice choked with sobs. "It is me, General."

Dayin’s brows twitched slightly. She reached out a trembling hand toward her. "Spoon... Spoon..." A violent cough interrupted her, and she spat out a mouthful of blood.

"General!" Kaiming cried out in alarm. "General, do not worry! I will take good care of Spoon!"

Dayin nodded slowly, turning her eyes back to Xuan. "Xuan, it hurts so much..."

"It's alright. It will pass soon," Xuan said, forcing his voice to remain steady.

"Xuan. I want to sleep..."

"Talk to me. Talk to me, and you won't feel like sleeping."

"Xuan. Actually... I don't like Kaiming..." Dayin's voice grew fainter, her eyelids drooping. "But... she is the only one... to whom I can entrust everything..."

"..." Xuan had no words. He only held her tighter.

"Xuan. It hurts..." A large tear slid from the corner of Dayin’s eye. "Why... did I not... choose you... in the beginning?" The final word drifted from her lips like a soft chant. Dayin’s head lolled to the side, her body losing all strength, hanging limp in Xuan’s arms.

"Dayin..." he murmured, gently shaking her body. "It's alright. The physician will be here soon. It's alright..."

"Xuan..." Kaiming's vision blurred, her face drenched in hot tears.

"It's alright..."

"Xuan, she is dead."

"Who says she is dead?" Xuan acted as if he hadn't heard. He stared blankly ahead. A cool breeze sighed over the wasteland, and the girl in the black and white dress seemed to turn and walk away with a smile. "Look, isn't she right there?"

"Dayin is dead, Xuan!" Kaiming lunged forward, grabbing his back tightly, crying out, "Wake up, Xuan!"

She wept and trembled against his back. Xuan closed his eyes in her embrace, a string of tears rolling down like broken beads.

On the crest of the slope, a few black dots appeared, followed by more and more. The scattered soldiers of the Central Palace began to gather. A swift horse leaped onto the ridge, looking down at the bottom of the slope. The rider was clad in armor, his phoenix eyes widening abruptly as they swept over Xuan and Kaiming, who were locked in an embrace.

Three more figures emerged beside him. Chunhua was the first to see Kaiming below and shouted, "Officer, they are there!"

Ji said in a low voice, "I see." Just as he prepared to urge his horse forward, Kaiming suddenly pulled away. Xuan stood up unsteadily, holding the heavy, lifeless body in his arms.

As he turned, Dayin’s blood-soaked form was revealed to everyone.

The soldiers on the ridge gasped in unison.

"General? Is that the General?!"

"General Dayin..."

Ji’s face turned deathly pale. Chunhua and the others covered their mouths, unable to speak. The crowd stood stunned, watching helplessly as Xuan walked up the slope step by difficult step. His eyes were hollow, seeing no one. He simply carried Dayin’s corpse, passing by the crowd with a vacant expression.

Ji took a sharp breath and turned his gaze to the bottom of the slope. In the overgrown grass, Kaiming stood motionless, her eyes fixed on Xuan’s retreating back, tears streaming down her face.

Ji dismounted and walked quickly down the slope, pulling the dazed girl into his arms. "It’s alright. It’s alright."

"Dayin... is dead." She gasped, her tears falling in torrents.

"I know, I know," Ji murmured, rubbing his chin against the top of her head. "Everything is in the past. It’s over."

She clutched at Ji’s lapels, her grief and grievances surging forth. It began as a soft sob and finally erupted into uncontrollable wailing.

The soldiers returned to the camp and buried Dayin. Ji counted the surviving troops and sent urgent dispatches to the Central Palace, requesting reinforcements. When he returned to the tent, Kaiming was still in a daze, with Chunhua and the others at a loss.

Ji sighed, took off his helmet, knelt before her, and looked directly into her face. "Kaiming, where did you go the night before the battle?"

She did not answer, nor did she even glance at him.

Ji continued, "I can choose not to pursue your negligence, but what about the Palace Emperor? How will he deal with this? You are so foolish. Have you not considered the severe consequences?"

Kaiming stared at the ground, not even batting an eyelash.

Chunhua whispered, "Sir, now is not the time to assign blame!"

Ji shot a glance at Chunhua, and she fell silent immediately. Ji continued, "I want you to know that as an officer, you must take full responsibility for your actions. The Thirty-Sixth Squad will be punished, and even Spoon will be implicated because of you..."

"Spoon..." Kaiming suddenly reacted to the name as if a sensitive nerve had been touched, lifting her head.

"Yes, Spoon," Ji said, following the thread. "Do you know that angering the Palace Emperor will lead to military justice? If you are imprisoned, what will happen to Spoon?"

"What will happen to Spoon?" she repeated his words in a murmur. Suddenly, Dayin’s words flashed through her mind: "She is the only one... to whom I can entrust everything..." It was as if she had awakened from a deep, ignorant dream. She covered her face with her hands, bowing her head toward her knees.

Ji sighed and, quite naturally, reached out to stroke her hair. Chunhua and the others widened their eyes in shock at his gesture.

Muffled sounds came from behind her hands: "Where is Xuan? Is he still there?"

Chunhua quickly replied, "Yes, he is still at Dayin's grave."

Kaiming took a long breath and stood up abruptly. "I’m going to see him." She walked out. Ji watched her silently, not stopping her. Chunhua and the others looked at the two of them in bewilderment.

It was a crude mound of dirt, reinforced with a few bricks and stones at the base. There was no tombstone. The evening breeze drifted over the grave, stirring the thin clothes of the person kneeling before it. Withered leaves from a dead tree followed the wind, circling the seated figure, resting lightly on his shoulders before drifting away to the ground.

Xuan remained motionless, like a clay statue. His eyes were dull, seeing nothing, focused only on the mound.

No one knew what he was looking at, and no one knew what he was thinking.

Kaiming approached him with light steps.

"Xuan..."

As expected, there was no response.

"Don't be like this. Dayin is dead." She steadied her emotions, forcing her tears back, and said with a shudder, "Besides Dayin, can't you see me?"

Xuan’s frozen back did not move; not even his eyelashes flickered.

Kaiming’s legs went weak, and she collapsed beside him, grabbing his arm. "Xuan, look at me! I am Kaiming! I am your wife! Look at me!"

Xuan remained unmoved by her tugging.

"I am still alive, Xuan! Don't do this! Dayin is dead! She is dead!" Kaiming crawled in front of him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him hard. "You said she was your family, but I am your family too! Is it possible that you can't see anyone but her? Xuan!"

Xuan looked at her blankly, saying nothing.

Her tears finally broke free. Her voice trembling, she said, "Why? Why, after I understood my own heart, after I fell in love with you, must you treat me this way? Do you know that treating the living this way is crueler than if I were the one who died?"

Xuan’s pupils moved slightly. His long lashes trembled as he slowly looked at her.

Through her tear-blurred vision, she could no longer see his reaction. She pulled her hands away and stumbled away into the distance.

A loud thunderclap echoed across the horizon. Xuan closed his eyes, and tears streamed down his face.

Muffled thuds followed one after another. Dense black clouds gathered, and soon, a torrential rain began to fall. Amidst the pouring rain, a figure held a spear, repeating a soldier’s training movements over and over against a dead tree: stride, crouch, thrust, retract, stride again, crouch again... The heavy rain soaked her cheeks, blurring her vision entirely. The water ran down her chin, wetting her thin clothes, splashing everywhere as it hit the ground.

She said nothing, repeating the practice endlessly. In the raging storm, her lonely figure looked like a small boat on the verge of capsizing.

Every tent was filled with soldiers, standing or crouching, watching her in silence as she practiced mechanically in the rain. Chunhua finally couldn't bear it any longer and, with reddened eyes, ran toward the officer's tent.

Thrust, retract, retract, thrust. Her vision grew increasingly dim. Her limbs ached as if they didn't belong to her. She gritted her teeth and continued.

A hand reached out and firmly grabbed the spear she had thrust forward. She struggled, but could not pull it free. With a powerful tug, the hand ripped the weapon away; her grip was too weak to hold the shaft.

"What are you doing?!" A roar erupted in the rain. Ji stood beside her, soaked to the bone. "Why are you doing this?!"

She glared at him with resentment, gritting her teeth. "I want to become strong!"

Ji paused, gripping the spear tightly. "What did you say?"

"I said I want to become strong!" Kaiming shouted in the storm. "Strong enough to protect the people I need to protect!"

Ji blinked through the raindrops and shouted back, "Don't torture yourself this way! This is not the way to gain strength!"

"If I don't use this stupid method, what else can I do?!" She reached out to grab the spear, but Ji threw it far away and pulled her into his arms.

"Silly girl." His voice was low. He held her shoulders with his right hand, his chin resting on her forehead, and sighed softly. "If Xuan will not speak, you still have me."

She leaned against Ji’s chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath his soaked clothes. She trembled slightly at his words, the tears and rain on her face indistinguishable from one another.